- Dreams Within The Cell -
by Fawkes'Flame123
Summary: He'd become a broken, abandoned man, lost and hopeless, destroyed – he was so far down, help seemed a thing of imagination to him. And in that mind set, he allowed himself to think that everything he did was the right thing, and then he became a monster. He lost himself entirely. [Set during Thor 2, one of Loki's nights in the cell. Loki/OC.]


[So, I _**love, love, love**_ marvel and all that is comics and films. I've written things before on the Avengers and the like that need to be posted but this idea struck me after seeing Thor 2 and I just had to write this. Checked multiple times people but I'm rushing so just ignore any mistakes, if present. **Also, should this stay a one shot or be extended?**

**Disclaimer**: I **don't** own Loki or anything marvel related. I only own my OC.

**Warning**: May cause tears. I wrote this while listening to Thomas Newman, _'The Letter That Never Came',_ so be warned.

Anyway, enjoy. I tried to stick to Loki as much as possible, but it's all up to interpretation!]

* * *

He used to dream about _her_ lot when he was younger. The dreams would come each night. He'd wake in a state. Then, she would occupy his mind for _hours_, _days_ after the dreams. It was the same dream over and over again. He couldn't save her. He wasn't able to stop it from happening. They took her. Then, the dreams came to taunt him every night after the incident. He became a state but he hid it, he'd never let anyone see his pain. That's just who he was. He tried to hide it behind his games and lies. It didn't get him very far. They all knew he was hurting, everyone was but no one would know the pain like he or Thor did. Some say that her being taken had a part to play in what he became in the end. The dreams stopped when he started to go downhill. He'd become a broken, abandoned man, lost and hopeless, destroyed – he was so far down, help seemed a thing of imagination to him. And in that mind set, he allowed himself to think that everything he did was the right thing, and then he became a _monster_. He lost himself entirely. Just like he lost _her_, just like he lost his _brother_, his _father_. But there was one person who knew that he could be saved – his _mother_. She visited him frequently, giving him the books he read, anything to make his imprisonment as comfortable as possible. Of course, he brushed her off and pushed her away as easy as blinking an eye but deep down, it meant the world to him. Without the friend he'd once he lost, his mother was the only one who saw hope for him and although he would never admit it, that meant everything to him. All along, the only thing he wanted was to be loved, to belong but when he felt it wasn't happening, he became a twisted form of what he once was. Everyone looks at him as if he's some monster, when really he is only the way he is because he was lied to and in some ways neglected. If he hadn't had been, perhaps things would've turned out differently for all of them.

* * *

It was a particularly boring night in the cell when it happened again after so many years. He never expected to have the dreams again. He never expected to see _her_ again. But here she was in front of him, dressed in her dress and shawl. Her black hair was the same, long and loosely curled, her eyes were violet tipped with darkness as they always had been. Yes, she was older, around his age, but still the same.

"Loki," she whispered, his eyes were wide as he stared up at her. To be honest, he'd thought he'd gone insane. Perhaps he was he wasn't far off. Loki never allowed himself to feel. It made him feel vulnerable. To him, feeling and emotion was a human trait, a weak, fickle, human trait. But he couldn't help what he was feeling now. Looking at her brought tears to his eyes because he knew that this wasn't real, she was just a dream and it was all his fault – he hadn't been there to save her. He had let her down when he promised he never would.

"Avellana," his voice rasped, hollowly. The woman in front of him smiled, and walked over; her clothes billowed around her as she sat down next to him. Loki noticed that even in her death she had not lost her essence. There had always been something about her that seemed unnatural, sometimes _dark_, eerie yet all the while perfect.

"Hello, old friend," her soft voice filled the cell, making him feel both at ease and hollow. A ghost of a smile danced on his lips. He felt warmth growing in his chest – feelings he hadn't felt for _years_, feelings that he now would _never_ allow himself to feel but here he was _feeling_ all over again. Avellana just had that affect on him. It seemed like such a long time, he couldn't remember what it felt to be happy, _truly_ happy.

"H-how is this possible?" Loki's voice was barely audible. Avellana smiled and winked.

"A woman never tells her secrets," she smirked. Oh that smirk, how he'd missed seeing it on her face. It was a smirk he'd once taught her to wear.

Despite himself, Loki laughed, like _really_ laughed, out of happiness. It felt so foreign, strange; he didn't even recognise the sound. He hadn't laughed for so long.

"I've missed you," the God whispered, looking at his old friend. Her eyes searched his and a small smile reached her lips, he could see tears in her eyes. It was a bittersweet smile. For she knew that this was just his imagination and he knew she was never coming back. They both held the memories of that cursed day all those years ago when they were only young.

"I've missed you too, Loki," Avellana said, taking his hand in hers, her touch was warm despite being dead; "it's been a long time, hasn't it?"

"Too long," Loki nodded, his eyes searching her face. She seemed so _real_, so _true_ but he knew she was long gone to ever come back.

"What have you done Loki?" she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder, "what's happened to you?"

"We both knew that this day was to come. You knew from the start that I was corrupted. It's in my blood," Loki said, bitterly. Avellana tilted her head and looked up at him, a sad, fleeting smile flicked across her face. Loki noticed how pale she looked, _deathly_ pale, how her lips seemed darker, closer to the colour of blood, she looked like the kiss of death – harrowingly beautiful yet absolutely lifeless.

"No, _this_ is not you. Just because you were born from a frost giant, doesn't mean that you are one or the same as them for that matter. You are Loki of Asgard; you do not need to fall to what the frost giants did. You can change, be better, be the man I know you to be," Avellana looked him dead in the eyes, "I know your true nature, and this is not it."

"Do not lie to me Avellana, I was lost from the start," Loki said darkly. Avellana's expression changed, her eyes narrowed, the veins around her eyes protruded and the very essence around her darkened. The cell's temperature seemed to drop. The room grew dimmer.

"That's not true, you've allowed yourself to get lost," Avellana said, sharply, "we all have darkness in us. It's what we choose to do, the path we choose to act on. We all have a choice and so do you. You can either follow your darkness until it consumes all the light that you have left in you or you can turn away and do the right thing."

"What does it matter? I have already chosen my path, I cannot change what I have become," Loki muttered harshly. Avellana sighed; she'd always known him to be a stubborn idiot. Her expression softened, the veins retracted and the cell's atmosphere lightened.

"It does matter. You can always change. You can be saved Loki," Avellana said softly, touching his cheek. Loki drew a sharp breath. Again, there it was the warmth –warmth he hadn't felt from anyone in _this_ way for a long time.

"Well, you were always the best at keeping me in check," Loki smiled nostalgically, his darker tone lifting. Avellana smiled again.

"I was, wasn't I?" she laughed. Loki missed the sound of her laugh. It sounded like ringing bells on a fresh morning. "You and Thor always fighting, if I hadn't been there to stop you two or tell your father, you would've torn into each other."

"That is true," Loki smiled, looking down at the woman next to him. "But no one was ever surprised, it was just the way we were."

"Hmm, Loki and Thor – my two _insufferably_ _annoying_ boys," Avellana laughed, her dark eyes were teary as she looked up at him. He knew it was coming now; she was never able to stay long. The smile on her face told him her time was up. There was so much to say and never any time.

"I miss you so much Loki and you know I love you, but...," she whispered, taking his face in her hands, "...please don't lose yourself again."

"If I do, I'll get the sweet release of death," he replied cynically, Avellana shook her head, narrowing her eyes darkly, her expression changing to one that she'd held earlier.

"_No_, do not think like that. You cannot waste away because of what's happened in the past and you mustn't lose yourself to power Loki. You're better than that. Do not fall because of what you _think_ you are, rise because of _who_ you are," Avellana said, kissing his forehead. Loki's eyes closed as her lips brushed against his softly, gently, in a quick fleeting moment of love and care.

"Goodbye Loki, be true to yourself, if not for you, do it for me," she whispered, drawing back. And then, she was gone. Loki awoke with a start. His cheeks were wet with tears and he could still feel her lips on his. Quickly wiping away the evidence of tears, he sat by the cell window, his usual front back up again but her words, voice, image replayed in his head all day. Later, a guard came to tell him his mother had died – the last living person who trusted him. Loki had lost it all.

_FIN. _


End file.
